Oopsie Challenge - Zedgirl's Pancakes and Cleo's Sub Buns

Zedgirl (the sassy rooster on the left), a creative ALC member, makes gorgeous pancakes using the Oopsie recipe and the Almond Pecan Waffle recipe from Low Carb Cookworx (scroll down to Episode 15 for the original recipe):

For as long as I’ve been low-carbing I’ve been trying to make a bendy wrap that doesn’t require any wheat or soy ingredients. I’ve never had any luck and had given up until now. Oopsies were my inspiration, but I wanted something that was a bit more of a workhorse, so I used the ‘Almond Pecan Waffles’ recipe from the Low Carb Cookworx site (episode 15) as my base recipe but left out the pecans, added some different gums (similar to Thicken/Thin), tweaked it a little in the preparation and used a sandwich toaster/press as the method of cooking.

It’s basically a cream cheese and egg pancake (an Oopsie) with some cream, almond meal, gum and protein powder added. I’m thrilled with the result and this was only my first attempt...

This is how I made them. I won’t post the recipe because I’ve converted everything to grams etc., just use the (Cookworx) link above. Sift dry ingredients together. In a separate bowl, soften cream cheese for a few seconds in the microwave on a very low setting. Using a whisk, gradually mix the whipping cream into the softened cream cheese. Next add the lightly beaten egg a little at a time, beating after each addition. Mixture should be smooth. Combine the wet and dry ingredients. Pour some of the batter onto sandwich toaster; gently close lid and cook for about 1 minute. If making pikelets, leave the lid up and turn after 2 minutes.

Here's the result - looks amazing, either as a pancake or as a wrap/crepe.


Cleo, the queen of the Oopsie, baked Oopsie batter in mini loaf pans and got herself sub buns!


Sounds so simple, but I'd never have thought of it. I'm so used to doing without subs that they don't even register. Now...it's a different story! Meatball subs were always my favorite, and I'll be digging into her recipe sometime this week - if I get to the Farmer's Market for some ground beef, that is.

Both of these recipes would be great for kids, both to eat and to help make. I know several people who struggle with making one low carb or gluten-free meal for themselves, and a "normal" meal for their family. Oopsies make it a whole lot easier to create a new "normal".

Keep 'em coming!

Chocolate Mayo Pound Cake

Every so often, it comes up in casual conversation that I can't eat wheat. I apparently have the type of face that people want to cram food into, and they offer me crackers and cakes and all sorts of nummy stuff that makes my ass explode. I generally say I'm allergic, which is easier than explaining the whole gluten intolerance thing. And it's waaaay easier than saying "No thanks, I lowcarb" and hearing how meat and fat will ultimately lead to me dropping dead from a dramatic cardiac event, and that I desperately need grains in my diet to be healthy. So I say "I can't, actually, I'm allergic to wheat", and then watch as their face contorts into an expression of horror. "Oh my GOD," they exclaim, clasping their hands to their chest. "That must SUCK! What do you EAT?"

I eat this, beeyotches:
Okay...so it aint pretty. It looks like a cake that hit the bar early, drank far too much, talked too loud, smoked a deck, got in a fight en route to the streetcar, and woke up face down in a pile of Chinatown garbage and now has a helluva hangover and wants to be left alone, goddammit.

But oooooh...it's good. Real good. Eat-it-for-breakfast good. And...eh!...it's not fattening.

The original recipe was one I picked up at my lowcarb forum. I modified it slightly for my special needs and played with flavourings a tad. As with all recipes in this tasty world of ours, please do the same:

GFCF Chocolate Mayo Pound Cake

3c almond meal/flour
1/2c coconut flour
1/2c gluten-free flour (I used Bob's Red Mill all-purpose GF baking flour)
2/3c cocoa powder
1 1/4tsp baking soda
1tsp baking powder
1/2c Erythritol (or other granular sweetener - I love this one)
4 large eggs
1 1/2tsp liquid sweetener (I used Splenda, but you could use honey, stevia, agave etc
1t vanilla extract
1c mayo
2/3c DaVinci German Chocolate Cake syrup - wowza. (I've also used the French Vanilla to good effect, but this is better)
2/3c unsweetened chocolate almond milk (can use coconut milk or other milk...but this was yumm)

Just bung it all together and mix, then plunk in a bundt pan and bake at 325 for about 45-50 minutes. I do not own a bundt pan. I thought I bought one, but it turned out to be one of those pans you make angel food cake in. I reckon this is why my version looks like it's homeless and on crack. So buy a proper bundt pan, I implore you, and slice it into 16 for a mere 8g net carbs each.

For the glaze on top, I melted about 3oz of dark chocolate (75% cocoa) with coconut oil, a touch of coconut milk, and the chocolate syrup stuff. The coconut oil makes it harden some in the fridge. It adds maybe 1 or 2 carbs to a slice, if that - I didn't measure it out but rather followed my whimsy. That could be why the glaze looks accidental. Tastes good though - even the BF said so, and he hates cocoa and gluten-free and any cake not from a box.

Blooper Reel

Here's how the cake came out of the oven:

I don't know if you can tell, but the centre had puffed up and broken away from the rest of the cake, almost like a rooftop patio. Naturally I ate most of it, because when that happens it doesn't count as part of the cake proper and will not interfere with any weight-loss efforts.

I glazed it, and decided it looked homely. So I attempted to pretty it up:

Worse, really. Sad.

The Cheese Stands Alone

I've been away from the blog for a bit. Why? Well...quite honestly, it's because I was embarassed and fed up with myself. I had an experience that threw my world off its axis and forced me to take a long, hard look at my thought patterns and habits. I didn't like what I saw. It is said that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. My teacher, the entity who flipped my perspective and made change not a should but a must? Cheese.

Yup, cheese.

Like all life's teachers, cheese can assume many forms: a cheerful, waxy orange hunk grinning at you from the dairy case; a gooey, melty blanket of comfort beckoning from atop a pizza; stoic and self-assured in the middle of a fruit plate, much like I always pictured the cheese at the end of "Farmer In The Dell", standing alone in the center of everything and unruffled by it all.

Cheese first appeared to me nestled in two gluten-free mini quiches at the Pickering Flea Market. The BF and I go there at least twice a month so he can stock up on sopprasetta, because it's one of the few foods he deigns to include in his lunch rotation (Monday, bbq pork on rice; Tuesday, half a sopprasetta; Wednesday, bbq pork on rice, and so on). The Flea market has a wonderful food court, full of incredible-tasting garbage like beef patties and (to die for)deep-fried potato puffs. We usually go for brekkie in the city beforehand, but every now and then it's nice to hunker down in a food court with the rest of humanity. Luckily, there is one booth that I can eat at - Molly B's Gluten-Free Kitchen. Besides the usual high-carb fare, which I skip, I can usually get ribs (with guaranteed gluten-free sauce) and salad. Nummy and messy, perfect food court fare.

This time, however, I wasn't that hungry. Two mini-quiches, so small and pretty, seemed the perfect remedy to my niggle for a little something. Upon asking though, I was informed that one contained cheddar, the other goat cheese. Well, I threw caution to the wind! "Bring 'em on," I exclaimed, an imaginary Super Duper Daring Girl cape flapping behind me. Today, I thought, will be the day I challenge cheese. Boo-ya.

I ate one. Then the other. They were okay. Barely tasted the cheese, dammit. It may as well have not been there at all. I mean, if you're going to put cheese in a quiche, mini or otherwise, PUT CHEESE IN. Goobs and gobs of it. When cooking with cheese, one must say "fuck subtlety!" and cram it in there. Anyway, though the quiche was good, I felt cheated out of a true cheese experience. Little did I know what the curdled bitch-goddess had in store for me.

Crestfallen, I commanded the BF to take me to a grocery store so I could purchase a block of tangy old cheddar cheese. If I was gonna suffer, (if, IF, because I don't REALLY have a problem with cheese, do I?)I was damn well gonna live it up first. I put half the block away, shredded a quarter block overtop a hastily-made taco salad (seasoned beef, tomatoes, salsa, avocado, etc) and ate the other quarter atop almond-flax crackers while I waited for the first to melt. My heart was, seriously, pounding with excitement. I was drooling like a wildebeast. I wasn't just eating the cheese - I was making sweet, sweet love to it, and it to me. It was deep, and it was real. As was the devastating gas and bloating that ensued soon after. Devastating gas - so bad that my cats spent the evening trying to avoid me - is one method the teacher uses to speak to you. It is an instruction: do not eat this again. Very simple. It's also a lesson we generally ignore. I went to bed that night like a kid on Xmas Eve, tingling with the anticipation of another day with cheese.

Next day I repeated the same menu. Again, I inflated and spent the rest of the day playing the butt-tuba. Since I wasn't listening, my teacher added another lesson: some weird, intestinal fireworks, like hot tingles, and some heartburn. Later, for good measure, teach threw in insomnia and intense bingeing hunger. I made a mental plan to try goat cheese next.

The following few days contained additional instruction in the form of nasal allergies, an acne breakout and dry, itchy skin. Gas continued, I looked 7 months pregnant, and I constantly craved carby foods like potatoes and sweets. My energy levels were extremely low. So naturally, I ordered and ate an entire medium gluten-free pizza, covered in fantabulous organic mozzarella.

Cheesus wept.

My weight shot up with water retention, my face broke out more, I got constipated and began having mood swings. My fingernails started breaking, gums started bleeding, nasal allergies were in full swing and I still had insomnia and enormous bloating. Cravings I hadn't heard from in ages dropped in to raid the fridge. I started getting obsessive about food and vitamins, and spent hours online maniacally researching things I already knew. I considered testing gluten - you know, just to see if anything happened, because intolerance symptoms are just so darn VAGUE.

Finally, after a small episode involving vanilla ice cream, wine and cigarettes (yes, I smoked - the dairy path is dark, my friends) my gouda-guru and the universe teamed up to give me a final exam. I bought a supplemental omega-oil blend containing, of all things, wheat germ and oat oils - something I normally would never, ever have purchased, and I quite honestly don't know why I did - and got really, really sick. I spent a week passing oil and undigested food. I felt nauseous and in pain every time I ate, no matter what it was, to the point of having to lie down. Course then I'd have to get up and pass more undigested food. I was itchy, tired, upset, sleepless, covered in zits, burping, heartburny. And then, just to add insult to injury, just to make absolutely, positively sure that I was listening this time, cheese/universe sent me one final lesson:

I pooped my pants. Just a little. Just a smidge. Just a wee, itsy-bitsy bit. But the fact remained - I pooped. In my pants. While I was wearing them. I thought it was just a little bit of gas...but no. Oh no. It was so, so much more. My best friend, who has Crohn's, laughed and said "Welcome to my world." What was I doing? What had I become? Is this what I wanted in my life, to be a pants-pooper? If I kept going, what would be next?

I'm better now, and better for it. I have learned my lesson, finally. Cheese is a tough mistress indeed, her lessons brutal. But she never, ever steers you wrong; if she speaks to you, you'd best heed her words. Now when I think of cheese, I don't fantasize about eating it. I picture it standing alone in the center of a bunch of gobbling, drooling people, wizened and calm, meeting my eyes with a knowing gaze and nodding almost imperceptibly as I walk on past.

My GFCF low-carb kitchen

Yesterday I received my first ever order from Beretta Farms - a big, happy box of organic, pastured meat. It was a carnivore's christmas, a frozen flesh-a-palooza, and I am now well-stocked with all the dead animal I could want. But as my inner huntress danced her thanksgiving dance to Diana, I realized I'd have to...*shudder*...organize my freezer.

Oh, who am I kidding. I LOVE organizing my freezer! Hell, I love organizing my whole kitchen! I'm a happy gal when all the tins in my cupboard are facing forward. I love a lined veggie crisper. I thrive on designing new groupings for condiments (by frequency of use, ethnic origin, colour etc). So off I went, tra la la, to exercise my OCD (Organizational Compulsion Disorder).

Then I got to thinking. As I mentioned in another post, one of the most frequent questions people ask when changing their way of eating (WOE), be it to low-carb or gluten-free or what have you, is "What do I eat?" I decided to ask that of myself: what do I eat? What's in my kitchen? And thus, I share with thee. Behold!

Large Freezer

Prime Rib roast, organic (org), 4.4 lbs
Stewing beef, org, 1 lb
Stir-fry beef, org, 2 lb
Top sirloin steak, org, 3 lb
Beef tongue, org, 3 lbs, ordered in a fit of culinary adventurousness, though now its very presence frightens me.
Ground beef, org, 3lbs
Beef short ribs
3 beef livers
Inside blade steak
Bunch of other steaks I hacked off a roast from Costco and froze in my nifty vaccuum sealer
Soup bones, beef
Oxtail, org, 2lbs
Ground pork, org, 2lbs. Good lord, who am I feeding here?
Pork tenderloin, org, 1 lb
6 really big bone-in pork chops
Lardons, 1 lb. You use these in stews and stuff. They're like the scrap ends of bacon or something. They sounded fun.
Chicken thighs, like a thousand of them, because I can't not buy chicken thighs whenever I'm out.
Chicken legs, 6 org, 4 Costco. That makes 10. Jesus.
Chicken wings, 5lbs org plus half a huge Costco package.
One whole chicken because apparently, I can never have enough chicken
Turkey thigh, org, 2.5 lb, just to mix it up a little
Lamb medallions
Bag of trout fillets
4 salmon patties
Bag of uncooked shrimp.

Small Freezer (top of fridge)

3 frozen meal things (my sister's work lunches)
6 big-ass organic nitrate-free hot dogs
1 pack of organic gluten-free breakfast sausage
Organic belly bacon, 2 lbs
1 pack organic beef salami
Blueberries
Almond meal
Flax meal
Flax seeds that will sit there forever. Like I'll ever actually grind my own flax meal.
Bob's Red Mill all-purpose gluten-free baking flour (say that 10 times fast)
Coconut flour
Green beans
Green peas (for stews. I hate peas anywhere else but I hate stew without peas)
Asparagus
3 root veggie packs, assembled by yours truly and containing carrots, parsnips, rutabaga, turnip and beets. Good for roasting. A little carby at the moment but yummy.
Weird solid cube of cooked squash that I may foist on to someone else
Bag of anemic-looking diced rutabaga, quite unappealing
Cauliflower
Half a beef heart and 3 lbs of chicken gizzards for the pusses. I have to manage that enormous beef tongue before I even think of attempting a chicken heart, though the association with voodoo appeals to me.
Homemade seafood chowder
Homemade pizza stew: kinda like spaghetti sauce with pizza ingredients, good when your BF asks you to hold his pizza slice and it smells so good and you wanna take a bite so bad but you can't so you turn the urge into hatred and sneeze on his slice and then make pizza stew when you get home and it does the trick, kinda sorta.
Homemade GFCF LC zucchini loaf
Bag of Alexia organic oven fries that have been sitting there for months because I'm not doing potatoes at the moment

Fridge (the inner sanctum)

Perrier. Fizzy water is exciting water!
Kombucha and SCOBY. A whole other post, trust me.
2% milk (sister's)
Coconut milk, half-can (mainly used in tea)
Homemade white peach wine from sister's BF
Homemade fish stock ready to be frozen
Lemon juice (naturally, I almost always use REAL lemons. Ahem.) Shirataki noodles
Olives, green and black
Lard, organic
Bacon grease
Hard boiled eggs, for snacks and devilling
Coconut jelly: a chewy snack made from creamed coconut and gelatin. Tastes better than it sounds.
Wonder Dread...er, bread (sis)
Homemade Worcestershire sauce, bc Lea & Perrins doesn't make a gluten-free one in Canada so bah, who needs them
Homemade chicken liver pate that is SERIOUSLY awesome
Romaine lettuce
Homemade meatballs that I'd totally forgotten about
Kosher dills
Miracle Whip (sis)
Individual organic apple sauces, only 12g carbs each and nice on my pork chops
Pancetta
Organic eggs
Bacon
More homemade meatballs. When did I make all these? Why?
Chocolate Mayo Pound Cake, tweaked for GFCF and for low-carb. Could happily eat nothing else. Recipe in an upcoming post.
Coconut oil candies: coconut oil, cocoa and sweetener mixed and solidified in ice cube trays.
Parsley that will rot before I use it up
Rosemary (see above)
Thyme (see above)
Organic butter for making ghee
Mustard
Cocktail sauce, hot
Blueberry fruit spread, about a year old
Marmalade fruit spread (see above)
Gigantarific tub of Hellman's. I am almost ashamed at how quickly I go through it. Almost.
Organic ketchup
Top sirloin, org, 1 lb, defrosting for dinner tonight
Puss food: raw chicken, ground bone, gizzards and liver
Sardines. I used the heads and tails for the fish stock, feeding the rest to the pusses because sardines just freak me out and I can't eat them. I don't know why.
Wrinkly turnip
Old carrots
Even older parsnips
Minced organic ginger
Capers
Sauerkraut (food of the gods)
Frank's Red Hot, Original and Buffalo
Kraft Classic Herb dressing
Pack of organic beef salami
Pack of organic GF breakfast sausage that I'm having later
Baking soda
Bell peppers
Pork cracklins (the crunchy goodness left over from rendering lard)
Tomato
Bread & butter pickles, unsweetened and actually pretty gross. Don't know why I haven't thrown them out. Every now and then I have a couple, and I go "ugh" and "eeuuw" and "blecch". Then I put them back in the fridge.
Fish sauce because I might, one day, cook some sort of Thai food and I want to be prepared.
Cod liver oil. Yes, I take cod liver oil. Yes, I know what year it is.
Tamari: wheat-free soy sauce that yes, I bring with me to sushi places. I have not yet gotten the balls to bring it to Chinatown and demand that they prepare my food with it. I miss Chinese food...
HP Sauce (sauce of the gods)

Pantry

*Aside: okay, it's not really a pantry as in an awesome, romantic walk-in food closet full of interesting and exotic thingys and natural, wholesome preserved thingys. It's a crap particle board cupboard. I love the idea of having a huge pantry but really, it would be wasted on me as I don't use many dry goods or canned or boxed foods. If the end ever comes, I'll be stuck sucking on frozen meat. It would make a great shoe closet though...anyway, back to the:

Pantry
Zoodles (sis, but I remember the days when my diet was these, Beefaroni, toast, cigarettes and beer and I was darn happy)
Nutrigrain bars, Oatmeal to Go (sis)
Butter chicken curry paste, a pleasant surprise as I have no idea where it came from. Luckily I have lots of chicken to use it on.
Butter (sis)
Ghee
Almond hazelnut butter from my paleo almond muffin kick, which I may revive
Natural peanut butter
Beef broth
Tomato paste
Bakers unsweetened chocolate
Cocoa powder
Coconut milk
71% Cocoa Camino choccy bar, nummm. A little goes a long, long way.
Stevia, liquid and granular
Splenda
Sugar Twin, liquid
Erythritol: a natural sweetener that also adds bulk and texture to baked goods.
Sweet Life, another natural sweetener I'm trying
Pork rinds. I use these for breading, as crackers and to snack on occasionally. They are AWESOME, don't let anyone tell you different.
Tea: black, green, white, red, spiced, and a variety of herbal. I drink about two pots a day, as should you all.
Almond milk, unsweetened
Variety of herbs and spices
Polydextrose: adds bulk and texture to baked goods
Gelatin
Xanthan gum: thickener, adds texture to baked goods
Clover honey

Maple syrup, one of my favorite flavours of all time. I don't use it or the honey often, but it's nice to have around.
Molasses used in non-LC baked bean recipe about 6 months ago. Does molasses go bad? I can't decide whether to keep it or pitch. For some reason I've grown attached to it. The carton is cute and old-fashioned looking, and that always gets me.
White sugar (sis)
Icing sugar used once on a flourless cake for Xmas, now sitting neglected and lonesome on my shelf, poor thing.
Onion
Garlic
Celtic sea salt
Dessicated unsweetened coconut
Extra-virgin olive oil
Almond oil
Avocado oil (the one Jamie Oliver endorses! Woo!)
Red, white and marsala cooking wine
Vinegars: white, red wine, white wine, balsamic, rice, ume plum
DaVinci syrups: French Vanilla (mmmm in tea) and Root Beer (for my Perrier)

Based on this, I shouldn't have to grocery shop for several years. I think a mental health professional would label this as hoarding behaviour, with a touch of ingredient exhibitionism. I don't know that I'd argue.

So Who Are You, Anyway?

Good question.

I started this blog with the intention of exploring, in a light, humourous way, my trials and tribulations with food addiction. That's changed. Why? Because I no longer have food addiction, frequent bingeing and all the other negative food-related behaviours that confounded and depressed me. Figures - I start a blog, and my subject matter hightails it outta here.

Why did this happen? What blessed miracle removed this dreaded affliction? Well first, lemme take you into some dark, murky territory better known as:

Self-Indulgent Backstory Time

I've never been obese. Not by a long shot. Rather, I'm one of those people who, like so many of us, constantly battles to keep weight from creeping on. At any given time I had 20-30 extra pounds on me. I did everything I could to get it off: I dieted with low-fat foods, skinless/fatless meats and whole grains, and I dutifully treadmilled and ellipticalled in my target heart zone most days of the week. Nothing. No change. Well, 5 lbs here and there but for the most part, I stayed looking pretty much the same.

I figured this was due to my seemingly insatiable appetite. I was always, always hungry. I was always, always thinking about food. When was I gonna eat? What was I gonna have? I snacked a lot, but on healthy things like whole-wheat crackers and low-fat cheese or whole-wheat toast with fat-free cream cheese or peanut butter. Here's an example of a typical menu:

• Breakfast (always eaten within an hour of waking because if you wanna lose weight, you gotta eat breakfast): high-fibre organic multi-grain cereal; skim milk; banana; babybel cheese
• Morning nibble (why am I hungry? I ate breakfast!): fruit salad with fat-free yogurt and sprinkling of granola
• Lunch (man, I'm starved. What's wrong with me?): tomato soup with multi-grain crackers; tuna sandwich with fat-free mayo on whole-wheat bread; babybel cheese; apple
• Pre-dinner nibble (I'm awful. I'm such a pig.): half a bag of cheese flavoured rice chip things, though I would love to eat the whole bag; 1% cottage cheese
• Dinner (oh thank god): enormous plate of whole-wheat spaghetti with vegetable marinara sauce; parmesan cheese; garlic bread, 2 pieces
• Post-dinner freak-out: frantic handful of crackers rammed in mouth and chewed furiously while buttering whole-wheat bread and putting a carefully measured tablespoon of maple syrup on top, followed by the rest of the bag of rice chip things, then maybe my sister has some chocolate something, ooh look, potato chips and ohmygodstopSTOP. STOP.
• Post freak-out helping of guilt, shame and depression, followed by copious amounts of sugar-free gum.

So yeah - I figured the weight issue was directly related with calories. Since I was a huge pig who couldn't stop eating, I was likely taking in way more calories than my small frame could handle, more than I was burning off at the gym. Thing is, I'd counted calories before. I'd eaten the 1200-1400 or so recommended for my size, and didn't shed a pound. I went even more insane from hunger and cravings, but didn't shed a pound. I figured I must need even less food...and that wasn't gonna happen.

I considered Overeaters Anonymous. I read Dr. Phil's book. I did a bunch of very self-lovey emotional work. I journalled. I paid attention to my feelings. I discovered that my bingeing tended to be triggered by boredom - in which case, I was bored a hell of a lot. I considered purging (didn't work - that's a whole other post!). I paid attention to how others were eating (slowly, pausing between bites, leaving food on the plate if they got full) and tried to emulate them. Finally, I just gave up and decided to start a blog about it. Maybe some indulgent public whining would help me figure out what was going on.

Then I decided to have another look at low-carbing. I had just quit smoking with the help of a book by Allan Carr. He also had a book for people who wanted to change their relationship with food, and that got me thinking: if a book could help me, an unrepentant 18-yr smoker, quit cold turkey, then maybe it could help me with my food problem. But somehow, I stumbled onto Dr. Barry Groves and his ebook "Eat Fat, Get Thin", and it made sense to me. I started reading more books, and when I found a support forum online I spent several days absorbing information.

I'd done the low-carb thing before. Several years back I saw a book called "The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet" and felt a click of recognition. I bought, read and implemented it in the span of one week. The gist was that carbs were addictive (aha! hence my cravings!) and should be limited. The plan included low-carb substitutes, like bread made from soy flour and pasta from rice, and included a reward meal every day that had to be eaten in a one-hour period. I bought pounds of substitutes, cooked furiously, and began losing a bit of weight. Woo hoo!

Problem was, the reward meal was making me INSANE. I thought about it all day long. I would make whatever I wanted and gorge myself for the full hour; once the hour was up, I would obsess about my next reward meal until it came, 24 hours later. I'm sure that the authors of this book did not intend for me (or anyone) to behave in this manner, and I know many people for whom this plan worked like a charm. I just felt nuts. I couldn't handle the stress. Mentally I felt worse than before, and I was having visions of the BF finding me hunched in a closet, snorting flour from the bag. I decided that I was deluded, thinking I was a carb addict, and all I needed was discipline. I chucked the book and the plan.

This time, I decided to give it a real go. I started Atkins, began tracking carbs. But I kept falling off the wagon. I noticed the cravings weren't as bad, but they were still there. I'd be good during the week, but on weekends I'd have some pizza or some other "treat". I didn't want to, but the urge to was strong, annoying, distracting. Here I go again, I thought. Another failure.

End of Long, Poor-me Backstory

So one day on the low-carb forum I stumbled across some posts dealing with gluten intolerance and other food sensitivities. A very knowledgeable person gently suggested that I might want to try an elimination diet - no grains or dairy or soy - and see how I felt. The very thought was horrifying to me, but I love to experiment on myself so gave it a whirl. And what do you know...in a few days, my cravings had vanished completely. COMPLETELY.

This ASTOUNDED me. A week or so prior, I had an episode of cracker-mouth-stuffing that ended in tears. (Note: Cracker-mouth-stuffing occurs when one has an insatiable fever for crackers, and rams fistfulls of them into one's mouth and then attempts to chew and swallow so more can be rammed in.) Suddenly, I had a very obvious absence of craving. And I wasn't as hungry either. Plus - I wasn't so puffy all over, or bloated in my belly. My torso felt clear - like I had been clogged up, and now I was empty and clean. My head felt clearer. I had no anxiety, no mood swings, no depression...I actually felt content. After about two weeks I tested myself with an order of pasta - before I was even halfway through, my belly swelled up like I'd swallowed a pumpkin. A few days of gas and other bathroom issues ensued; something was definitely awry.

I shelled out some bucks for a test and, lo! Positive for gluten and casein intolerance. Almost all of the foods I craved so, so badly - crackers, pasta, bread, cheese - were foods I was sensitive to;that, in fact, my body mounted an immune reaction against. Dairy and wheat were just like cigarettes: unhealthy, bad for me, killing me...but I craved them incessantly.

So now, I want this blog to address issues of low-carb nutrition in general, GFCF eating, weight issues, some food history, and some fun food stuff. I've got me some pretty strong opinions about eating, and I 'aint scared to share.

Wednesday Breakfast

Breakfast, 2pm: grilled eye of round with onions, red peppers and garlic-infused clarified butter (ghee)

Egads - why is she photographing her food? How obsessed can one woman be? REALLY obsessed, as a matter of fact. But that's not why I'm documenting my brekkie.

I am a member of several low-carb message boards. I am also a member of several gluten-free boards (strangely, the two are never found together). I've noticed that in both communities, newbies (and sometimes oldbies) alike ask the same question: What can I EAT?? They wander around cyberspace, starchless, grainless, desperately seeking meal options, frantically sourcing substitutes for their old faves.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not knocking substitutes. If you absolutely cannot go one more day without some form of bagel or noodle, Kinnikinnick your Shirataki's off. But in a world where whole grain is considered tantamount to good health and starches form the basis of many meals, we've forgotten our dietary past which, for about 95% of our existence, did not include grains.

I'll save the diatribe for another post. Suffice to say, there is a whole world of food options out there for us gluten-free, dairy-free and/or low-carb folk. - options that make us neither sick nor fat. This brekkie is a far cry from my previous choices: ancient grain cereal with low-fat vanilla soy milk and bananas, a meal that left me bloated and starved a mere half-hour later. And yes...I have lost weight while eating this way.

So look upon my breakfast, ye un-mighty grain-eaters, and despair!