Celiac and Obesity

Interesting article on Celiac.com called "Celiac Disease and Obesity - There is a Connection." I'm glad to see it because I certainly didn't fit the usual celiac mould, which is underweight and/or unable to keep on or gain weight. Puh-leez. Celiacs/gluten intolerants tend to have malabsorption issues, meaning gluten/gliadin (the protein in wheat) is interfering with the absorption of nutrients from their food; your body thinks you're starving, no matter how much you eat. Throw in the fact that gliadin breaks down into an addictive opiate-like substance in the body and you have people like me, who experienced intense cravings and insatiable hunger...and of course, weight gain.

"Eat less and move more" doesn't help in this situation. I wanted to eat less. I made a huge effort to eat less. Eating less took up about 85% of my mental energy each and every day. All I thought about was food: eating it, getting it, not eating it, eating "better" food, when I was going to eat, did I bring enough food with me, why am I so bloody hungry? I studied other people's eating habits and wondered why I couldn't eat slowly, or put my fork down between bites, or leave food on my plate, or NOT want chips or cake or crackers after a meal of spaghetti and garlic bread. I was overweight, but not obese - if I'd been obese, you bet I'd have taken a beating from friends, co-workers, family and health professionals for my behaviour, which would be (and still is) seen as gluttony, a lack of willpower, a character flaw.

Many people on the low-carb forum I frequent find that when they add wheat products back to their diet, they react badly: brain fog, fatigue, G.I. distress, aching joints, skin rashes, etc. I was the same. I suspected something was up, but it wasn't until I'd removed all gluten from my diet for a while and then added it back that I really noticed how crappy I'd felt for most of my life...and how good I could feel instead. Then I got tested and found out for sure what the trouble was. It was so simple to do, and caused a dramatic improvement in my quality of life, not just physically but mentally/emotionally.

So why don't we test for this all the time? Why isn't food tolerance/allergy testing a routine part of a medical workup? Why aren't children tested when they start on solid foods...and then re-tested several times throughout childhood? Why does the medical community at large know so little about nutrition and food, about the effect food has on our bodies? Hippocrates said "Let thy food be thy medicine and thy medicine be thy food"...so what happened?

It is my theory that Overeaters Anonymous meetings are chock-full of people who, like me, have food intolerance issues that manifest, at least partially, as cravings and overeating as well as depression, anxiety and other emotional symptoms. And no-one - not their doctors, not their counsellors, not their sponsors, not their friends - is going to "let them off the hook" by suggesting that their actual problem could be bread or oatmeal or fettuccine. I do not believe that ANYONE has ever become obese because they just like to eat or have no willpower, whatever that is. I think obesity always has an underlying reason - meaning that obesity is a symptom of something else - and that reason can be treated. Unfortunately, we still treat obesity and overweight as something that requires penance and punishment. It's a moral failing. A scarlet letter.

But the real failing is ours. We fail the obese by blaming them. We fail the overweight by giving them diet plans containing the very foods that may have led to their overweight. Would it be so difficult to just run a couple of tests? Or do we just not want to have to admit we've been wrong, judgemental, mean...and say sorry?

Failsafe and Elephants

Because I am tra-la-la spiritual and oh-so in touch with the inner workings of the universe, I have been trying to establish a dialogue with my body. While it does speak to me (see previous post), I'm aiming for something a tad more literal. Like preschool level communication. I want my body to spell out for me, in great detail, exactly what it wants and needs. Is that so much to ask?

It's the bloating that causes me Fear and Loathing. I've had a distended abdomen for as long as I can recall. I figured that once I went gluten-casein-free, the bloat would deflate, say, immediately, and I would be left with a midsection like, oh, Gwen Stefani's. Alas, this has not happened. I am still poofy. Okay, okay...I haven't been totally casein-free. I've had some accidental glutenings. And other foods make me inflate; a recent experiment with lower-carb homemade baked beans is a case in point. My Sensible-Self realizes that in order for the bloat to bugger off, I'll need to be truly GFCF and low-carb consistently for at least six months, probably more.

My Obsessive/Impatient-Self thinks that my Sensible-Self is a ridiculous nuisance, not to mention dreadfully boring. Distention indicates something is awry and needs fixing. So let's attack it from all fronts! Supplements, probiotics, research, visualization and mind/body dialogue. Hup-hup and whee! Let's get this thing!

(My Apathetic-Self and Hedonistic-Self, meanwhile, are lounging on my inner couch with an enormous bag of Ruffles and shaking their heads. Smart asses.)

So before I go to sleep, I have been asking my body to communicate with me via my dreams and tell me what it's state is and what it needs to be healthy. Okay, I did this twice. But both nights I got very interesting results:

Dream #1: I forget most of the first bit, but the gist is I'm at some sort of lodge retreat thing with a bunch of people. Here's the important bit: I am riding an elephant, who brings me into the communal dining area. I know that there's likely nothing there I can eat. The elephant carries me over to a fridge and opens it. There are jars of vegetables labelled "Failsafe", and I feel relieved knowing that this food is safe for me to eat.

Dream #2: The BF and I are tying the knot. We're in a church, and it's packed. I'm annoyed because none of the guests are paying attention to our ceremony. I am keeping a close eye on a baby elephant (our child) who is playing on the altar steps with another kid; I'm anxious because I'm feeling that I should have kept him with me. The guests are getting louder and louder, and I'm yelling at them to shut up. Someone opens the church door, and everyone spills out including my baby elephant. The BF and I run outside amongst the crowd, and I am hunting for my elephant who is nowhere in sight. I'm screaming at everyone to get back inside.

I love elephants. They are one of my absolute favorite animals. I thought about why and what elephants symbolize to me; also what they symbolize in general. Basically, elephants are associated with wisdom and intelligence. I figure that in both cases, the elephants are representing my innate inner wisdom/higher intelligence.

In Dream #1, I am trusting this inner wisdom and allowing it to guide me. It takes me to vegetables labelled "Failsafe", which literally means "guaranteed not to fail." Failsafe also stands for "Free of Additives, Low in Salicylates, Amines and Flavor Enhancers" and is the term for a low-chemical exclusion diet. See http://www.plantpoisonsandrottenstuff.info/ for more information that I can give you here. Basically, a Failsafe diet eliminates additives, salicylates, amines and glutamates from both processed and natural food sources in order to identify and treat intolerances to specific naturally-occurring chemicals/toxins in foods.

This diet excludes vegetables and fruits that I adore, like tomatoes (I love tomatoes. I crave tomatoes. I put tomatoes on or in everything.) and peppers. It also eliminates TEA, perhaps the most inhuman and horrifying aspect to Failsafe. The diet terrifies me - but here's my elephant bringing me to it. I'd never really looked in to it, other than a passing glance at a website, so its presence in my dream both surprised and disturbed me. So I pressed on, and demanded another dream because I didn't want to accept that my body was telling me to do it. Have I not suffered enough, dammit? Is a life with no cheese not enough penance for my gastrointestinal sins?

In Dream #2, my wisdom/intelligence elephant is a baby and I am not taking proper care of it. I am in the middle of making a commitment (to my health?), but the crowd (tons and tons of information, research, ideas etc) is distracting me. Eventually the crowd interrupts and takes over, and my elephant is lost. So basically, I am not trusting my inner wisdom/intelligence; in fact, I am putting myself above it. In doing so, I lose it and am doomed to search around aimlessly, lost in a sea of information rather than riding high above it and getting to what I need like in my previous dream. Also, we're in a church, which to me represents boxed-in thinking and blind ideals...my own, I imagine.

So if I am interpreting things correctly, my body wants me to eliminate more from my diet, test things, gauge reactions. By not doing so, I am basically spinning my wheels. And if I'm honest with myself, I do notice weird reactions to other foods. Potatoes, for example, seem to make me depressed and activate my nasal allergies. Bananas give me an odd feeling in my gut. I don't seem to digest almonds and other nuts all that well.

And I do have other indications: allergic shiners, for example, that have hung out under my eyes forever. My ears ring. I'm tired a lot, even though I get lots of sleep. My nasal allergy symptoms come and go, depending on my diet - the only time I've been free of them is when I was eating primarily meat, eggs and fat with some leafy greens thrown in.

Am I ready to Failsafe? No. But I am ready to take my diet down a notch or two and keep things simple - meat, eggs, natural fats, some low-carb veggies and fruit. In the meantime I'll read up on it and, hopefully, my elephant will be patient with me. And if anyone wants to take a stab at alternate interpretations of my dreams, go for it! Especially if you feel that Failsafe represents me needing to consume potato chips on a daily basis. Is that such a stretch?

So Who Are You, Anyway?

Good question.

I started this blog with the intention of exploring, in a light, humourous way, my trials and tribulations with food addiction. That's changed. Why? Because I no longer have food addiction, frequent bingeing and all the other negative food-related behaviours that confounded and depressed me. Figures - I start a blog, and my subject matter hightails it outta here.

Why did this happen? What blessed miracle removed this dreaded affliction? Well first, lemme take you into some dark, murky territory better known as:

Self-Indulgent Backstory Time

I've never been obese. Not by a long shot. Rather, I'm one of those people who, like so many of us, constantly battles to keep weight from creeping on. At any given time I had 20-30 extra pounds on me. I did everything I could to get it off: I dieted with low-fat foods, skinless/fatless meats and whole grains, and I dutifully treadmilled and ellipticalled in my target heart zone most days of the week. Nothing. No change. Well, 5 lbs here and there but for the most part, I stayed looking pretty much the same.

I figured this was due to my seemingly insatiable appetite. I was always, always hungry. I was always, always thinking about food. When was I gonna eat? What was I gonna have? I snacked a lot, but on healthy things like whole-wheat crackers and low-fat cheese or whole-wheat toast with fat-free cream cheese or peanut butter. Here's an example of a typical menu:

• Breakfast (always eaten within an hour of waking because if you wanna lose weight, you gotta eat breakfast): high-fibre organic multi-grain cereal; skim milk; banana; babybel cheese
• Morning nibble (why am I hungry? I ate breakfast!): fruit salad with fat-free yogurt and sprinkling of granola
• Lunch (man, I'm starved. What's wrong with me?): tomato soup with multi-grain crackers; tuna sandwich with fat-free mayo on whole-wheat bread; babybel cheese; apple
• Pre-dinner nibble (I'm awful. I'm such a pig.): half a bag of cheese flavoured rice chip things, though I would love to eat the whole bag; 1% cottage cheese
• Dinner (oh thank god): enormous plate of whole-wheat spaghetti with vegetable marinara sauce; parmesan cheese; garlic bread, 2 pieces
• Post-dinner freak-out: frantic handful of crackers rammed in mouth and chewed furiously while buttering whole-wheat bread and putting a carefully measured tablespoon of maple syrup on top, followed by the rest of the bag of rice chip things, then maybe my sister has some chocolate something, ooh look, potato chips and ohmygodstopSTOP. STOP.
• Post freak-out helping of guilt, shame and depression, followed by copious amounts of sugar-free gum.

So yeah - I figured the weight issue was directly related with calories. Since I was a huge pig who couldn't stop eating, I was likely taking in way more calories than my small frame could handle, more than I was burning off at the gym. Thing is, I'd counted calories before. I'd eaten the 1200-1400 or so recommended for my size, and didn't shed a pound. I went even more insane from hunger and cravings, but didn't shed a pound. I figured I must need even less food...and that wasn't gonna happen.

I considered Overeaters Anonymous. I read Dr. Phil's book. I did a bunch of very self-lovey emotional work. I journalled. I paid attention to my feelings. I discovered that my bingeing tended to be triggered by boredom - in which case, I was bored a hell of a lot. I considered purging (didn't work - that's a whole other post!). I paid attention to how others were eating (slowly, pausing between bites, leaving food on the plate if they got full) and tried to emulate them. Finally, I just gave up and decided to start a blog about it. Maybe some indulgent public whining would help me figure out what was going on.

Then I decided to have another look at low-carbing. I had just quit smoking with the help of a book by Allan Carr. He also had a book for people who wanted to change their relationship with food, and that got me thinking: if a book could help me, an unrepentant 18-yr smoker, quit cold turkey, then maybe it could help me with my food problem. But somehow, I stumbled onto Dr. Barry Groves and his ebook "Eat Fat, Get Thin", and it made sense to me. I started reading more books, and when I found a support forum online I spent several days absorbing information.

I'd done the low-carb thing before. Several years back I saw a book called "The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet" and felt a click of recognition. I bought, read and implemented it in the span of one week. The gist was that carbs were addictive (aha! hence my cravings!) and should be limited. The plan included low-carb substitutes, like bread made from soy flour and pasta from rice, and included a reward meal every day that had to be eaten in a one-hour period. I bought pounds of substitutes, cooked furiously, and began losing a bit of weight. Woo hoo!

Problem was, the reward meal was making me INSANE. I thought about it all day long. I would make whatever I wanted and gorge myself for the full hour; once the hour was up, I would obsess about my next reward meal until it came, 24 hours later. I'm sure that the authors of this book did not intend for me (or anyone) to behave in this manner, and I know many people for whom this plan worked like a charm. I just felt nuts. I couldn't handle the stress. Mentally I felt worse than before, and I was having visions of the BF finding me hunched in a closet, snorting flour from the bag. I decided that I was deluded, thinking I was a carb addict, and all I needed was discipline. I chucked the book and the plan.

This time, I decided to give it a real go. I started Atkins, began tracking carbs. But I kept falling off the wagon. I noticed the cravings weren't as bad, but they were still there. I'd be good during the week, but on weekends I'd have some pizza or some other "treat". I didn't want to, but the urge to was strong, annoying, distracting. Here I go again, I thought. Another failure.

End of Long, Poor-me Backstory

So one day on the low-carb forum I stumbled across some posts dealing with gluten intolerance and other food sensitivities. A very knowledgeable person gently suggested that I might want to try an elimination diet - no grains or dairy or soy - and see how I felt. The very thought was horrifying to me, but I love to experiment on myself so gave it a whirl. And what do you know...in a few days, my cravings had vanished completely. COMPLETELY.

This ASTOUNDED me. A week or so prior, I had an episode of cracker-mouth-stuffing that ended in tears. (Note: Cracker-mouth-stuffing occurs when one has an insatiable fever for crackers, and rams fistfulls of them into one's mouth and then attempts to chew and swallow so more can be rammed in.) Suddenly, I had a very obvious absence of craving. And I wasn't as hungry either. Plus - I wasn't so puffy all over, or bloated in my belly. My torso felt clear - like I had been clogged up, and now I was empty and clean. My head felt clearer. I had no anxiety, no mood swings, no depression...I actually felt content. After about two weeks I tested myself with an order of pasta - before I was even halfway through, my belly swelled up like I'd swallowed a pumpkin. A few days of gas and other bathroom issues ensued; something was definitely awry.

I shelled out some bucks for a test and, lo! Positive for gluten and casein intolerance. Almost all of the foods I craved so, so badly - crackers, pasta, bread, cheese - were foods I was sensitive to;that, in fact, my body mounted an immune reaction against. Dairy and wheat were just like cigarettes: unhealthy, bad for me, killing me...but I craved them incessantly.

So now, I want this blog to address issues of low-carb nutrition in general, GFCF eating, weight issues, some food history, and some fun food stuff. I've got me some pretty strong opinions about eating, and I 'aint scared to share.