Carnivore Challenge Coming to a Close

Tomorrow is the last day of The Magic Bus carnivore challenge. This may be premature, but since I'm planning on total carnivory today and tomorrow, I thought I'd post my stats:

Start date: Feb 3
# of days in challenge: 26
Days carnivorous: 16, 61.5%
Days non-carnivorous: 10, 38.5%

So what were my non-carnivorous days? Well, a couple involved veggies - some celery along with Portuguese chicken wings (medium=HOT at this place, and celery with blue cheese dip is a necessity, IMO) and baby carrots while eating dinner with my sis, BIL, niece and nephew. Otherwise it was generally because I had a sugar-free pop - diet root beer mixed with heavy cream - or used cocoa powder in a cream cheese dessert. One day, I had blueberries in yogurt.

Which brings me to an interesting observation, at least for me: "junk" food has largely lost its appeal as a treat. I've always had a weakness for Cheetos and regular Ruffles - I love salty/crunchy, and now and then I like to bunker down with a movie or TV series and pig out on crap. I tried this twice during the challenge, and was surprised to discover that - gasp - I didn't enjoy it, which, to me, is the equivalent of the pope realizing he no longer cares much for god, and could happily go without.

Same with the "diet" drinks. I'd developed a bit of a habit, having one or two Coke Zeroes or SF Root Beers a day. As the month wore on, I found myself wanting water and teas. Sparkling water (my favorite is Gerolsteiner, a mineral water from Germany) replaced soda as my taste for a little something sweet faded into the background. I found I could take coffee, enhanced with a pinch of cinnamon and nutmeg or a splash of vanilla extract, either unsweetened or with a little bit of stevia.

My meat meals were mainly rare steak with butter. I also had duck, chicken wings, pork ribs, roasted pork, sausage (no filler, just meat and spices), eggs and nitrate-free bacon. Almost all of my meat came from my organic butcher or local farms. Side dishes and/or dessert was either some form of cheese or a caffe creme - coffee with steamed heavy cream. All dairy products used were organic and locally produced. I'm very lucky to be able to get these in my grocery store.

I did not crave vegetables or fruit, save the one day when I really fancied some baby carrots. To me, this makes sense - in Ontario, we can get certain greenhouse-grown veggies year-round, but for the most part winter means root veggies. I love squash and beets and such, but I had no desire to use them and generally find myself wanting veggies and fruit in the late Spring-Summer.

Beef became my meat of choice, and then cooked rare or blue. Well-done meat was blecchh. I did up some beef ribs, and without sauce they tasted, to me, like death. I really don't like well-done beef. The idea of a pot roast really turned me off, and I was living on pot roast earlier this winter. Other meats were nice, for one meal - I had no desire to eat my leftover duck or pork. The idea actually turned me off. Rare steak, on the other hand, never lost it's appeal, nor did eggs.

Now - dairy. This was a challenge for me in other ways. I had added dairy back to my diet, but in relatively small portions. Some cheddar in an omlette here, some cream in a coffee there. This month, I ate more cheese and cream than I have in ages. What did I notice? Well, I had no reactions like I did at the start of my gluten-free endeavour - no sinus trouble or wheezing, no horrid gas. I did have a few pimples emerge. I've found that heavy cream and butter seem to be fine, but too much cheese can lead to gut pains. Minor ones, but they're there all the same. At the outset I was snacking pretty heavily on cheese and experienced some bloating. Cream, I can definitely overdo as well - again, too much and I bloat. It's different than my gluten-bloat, mushier rather than drum-tight. I wonder if it's something to do with the salt in cheese making me retain water, because my hands would get a bit puffy as well (and cheese started to taste pretty salty - I could never really detect the salt before). Regardless, I'm keeping dairy to a minimum from now on - small bits here and there, and coconut milk/cream in my hot drinks.

My appetite took a serious dive - no surprise to anyone familiar with low-carbing, as this tends to happen when insulin levels are low and blood sugar is steady. This came about even more so when I quit eating much cheese. Cheese, for me, tends to make me feel less sated. Meat and fat? I'm good. I've been eating in an intermittent fasting-style for well over a year now (eating one or two meals a day within an "eating window", and going anywhere from 15-22 hours between meals), and found that I could push my eating window later and later. I just wasn't hungry. The last few days I've started dinner not because I was starved, but because it was 6 or 7pm and I'd not eaten anything! And lest anyone think I am turning in to some calorie-counting anorexic, fear not - I make those meals count, baby. Yesterday's meal, for example, was around 1,900 calories (and met or got close to the RDA for most nutrients, not that I put much stock in the RDA - but that's a whole other post!) It's quite easy, eating a high-fat, moderate protein diet (which is what low-carb diets are, ideally) to get enough energy.
In fact, that's one thing I've had tons of - energy! I spring out of bed with no trouble, and have stopped using my alarm clock. I wake up between 7-8am (that doesn't mean I get out of bed, of course!) feeling totally refreshed after going to sleep between 11pm and 1am. Some nights I forced myself to go to bed, because I was still alert and spunky. I try to get a good amount of sleep though, especially after reading Lights Out: Sleep, Sugar and Survival. Even on nights that I wasn't tired, I was able to fall asleep easily once I got into bed and relaxed. I think meditation helps with that, though I wasn't practicing it much this month.

And the best thing about all this? I am down another pound as of this morning to my lowest adult weight EVER - 113lbs. I'd landed at 114lbs for a bit, then jumped up to between 116-118lbs after holidays (water weight, mainly). I shed all that, plus a pound of bodyfat. Yup, I'm awesome. Anyone who's ever lost weight will tell you that the last 10lbs or so come off really, really slowly and, in some cases, can be a struggle to lose. According to all the weight-loss calculators floating around out there, I should be eating anywhere between 1,100 and 1,500 calories to lose weight (and I have gained weight on 1,500 calories, eating vegetarian/low-fat/lots of starch - while working out regularly). While I think that calories do count, to a point, seems for many of us it's the type of calories that count more than the amount. (Note: I haven't worked out in two months - that pound wasn't "burned" off through exercise.)

So although the challenge is almost over, I intend to keep up with most of it. I'd let quite a few "filler" foods into my life, and I see now that I really don't need them other than as a once-in-a-while treat. I am going to explore more ways of preparing meats, including organs - I have a beef liver and heart to pick up from the market today, as well as some oxtail and beef cheeks. I also may eat more fresh fish - my BIL picked up some live trout at the supermarket, and what a HUGE difference in taste/texture than frozen fillets! And yes, I'll still eat veggies and fruit - but I really see them in a different light now, especially since I've been reading up about them. Expect more posts on this topic.

But next - another Magic Bus challenge! In March, I am combining two challenges: the Kitchen Clean challenge, and the 90% Fat challenge. I will post the rules on the 1st.

Note: the picture was taken by a former colleague of mine during her trip to Kenya. Now there's something you didn't see in The Lion King! Amazing, eh?

Carnivore Challenge Gets Cheezy

It is February 10th, and I have managed 4 days out of 6 on the Magic Bus Carnivore Contest. Not too shabby. Days I haven't stayed totally carnivorous have been due to some salsa, or wanting a diet pop (something I'm trying to cut back on, and this is helping) or, like on Friday, wanting celery to dip in blue cheese alongside spicy chicken wings. I've had no junk food this month (save a couple diet pops), carbs have been super low. Alls well.

BUT...

Something's fishy, and it ain't fish. As much as I hate to admit it, dairy is causing a slight ruckus in the ol' system. Not much, but some. Got a few pimples, some bloating and puffiness. Took some magnesium last night to clear myself out (in case I'm a bit backed up - don't really feel I am, but might be) and I woke up feeling really, really nauseated.

I've been eating way too much cheese and cream. Waaaay too much. More than I've eaten in at least a year. I'm not much of a snacker, but quitting smoking had me somewhat peckish, and I'm just getting back to my usual eating schedule now. So Since this started, I've been snacking on cheese throughout the day, plus I've replaced my usual coconut milk with cream in my tea and, since I can't bear to see good organic heavy cream go bad, eating whipped cream on it's own or making super-creamy nog and coffee drinks. This is what got me last night - copious amounts of cream (though, to be fair, it was on it's last "good" date - may have been slightly off, and that's what made me feel sick?)

Regardless, I'm taking my punches like a woman and backing away, slowly, from the dairy. I'll still eat it, but nowhere near as much. I am learning to like my tea black (I learned to like it without three tsp of sugar, so how hard can this be), and remembering that, with some foods, the poison's in the dose. One can have too much of a good thing, dammit.

So we'll see if cutting back lets me dump the 2lbs of water I've been holding on to since this challenge began! We'll also see if I can manage to get creative with eggs. Carnivory can get a tad dull, so I'm seeking out ways to make meat and eggs delicious - different spices and herbs, mainly. I could eat a grilled steak with butter over and over again, it's true, but I figure this is a nice opportunity to branch out and learn more about cooking meat. We are including very low carb seasonings/sauces in this challenge, like hot sauces and such - maybe now's the time to learn some good West Indian techniques!

Oh, and I'm not going to post my Fitday anymore...because I can't be bothered to track my food! Been there, done that. It annoys me. Basically, my fat will be high, protein adequate, carbs super low. Let the calories fall where they may!

Group Dessert Follow-up and Pignacho Casserole

I had so many ideas passed on to me for low carb desserts! Thanks everyone. Of course, I ended up going to Costco and buying enormous batches of mini tarts. I just didn't have the time to make stuff for a large group...but I'll be drowning in yummy desserts now for months!

I did attempt a pan of gluten free brownies for my sister and I. I bought a mix, one of those just-add-eggs and whatnot, and then a mix for icing (organic, if you can believe it). Well? A smashing disaster. The brownies came out so dense I couldn't get them out of the pan but with a spoon in small chunks. And sweet? Holy gum disease. My teeth actually shook in their sockets. At least one of them gasped "why?" before bursting into tears. Yep, money well spent - the whole batch went right in the garbage. My choppers said "yay!" and did the wave.

Ahh, but what a feast it was! The party was "up north", which basically means anywhere about an hour's drive from the Greater Toronto Area. My bro-in-law's parents have a gorgeous property right on the water, and a hot tub to boot - plus they make their own wine. I may move in with them just to have a steady supply of their black cherry vintage.

The pig roast was delish, of course. What's not to like about a pig on a spit? My favorite part, of course, is the crackling - the crispy, fatty skin. At one point, all of my blood relatives were hovering around the pig like hyenas, picking and pulling at the skin and making Homer Simpson sounds. Someone commented that they'd never seen people who liked fat so much. Amen, sistah! Now rip me off some more! And pass the salt!

Here, for your grievous envy, is the pig right before we went caveman crazy and hacked it to bits:
Note the missing skin - most of it's in my belly (along with about a gallon of black cherry wine - these people know how to LIVE, I tell ya.)

My bro-in-law's aunt, it turns out, it the Goddess of Cheese. She's in the cheese biz and can get her hands on any cheese known to man. Now normally, seeing her unload a selection of creamy, stanky, baked and berry-covered cheeses would have led me to tear at my hair and gnash my teeth in despair. But I have made a discovery - I am, at least so far, A-OK with the mammary issue of goat and sheep. I tested myself some weeks back with a locally made sheep yogurt - figured that would do it, if anything - and nada, nothing happened. So I indulged, unpaleo-like, in mounds of semisoft pungent goat cheese. My bowels gave their blessing. Long live the Cheese Goddess, and may her curds be forever smooth and squeaky.

Naturally, I came home with a huge pan of leftover piggy meat and the kidneys for my cats, which got four paws up. I've been noshing on it all week. My favorite way to eat it, so far, has been chunked up in a bowl and sprinkled with cumin, then doused in salsa and covered with...oh yeah...shredded goat cheese. Heat to melt cheese and serve. It's like nachos! Well, not really. For one thing, I don't recommend eating it with your fingers while watching football. A tad greasy and drippy. It's actually a little more like a casserole. Pig nacho casserole. If you make it one word - Pignacho - it sounds kinda fancy. Pignacho Casserole. Plop a sprig of parsley on top and you're practically gourmet. Now them's ritzy eats!

The Cheese Stands Alone

I've been away from the blog for a bit. Why? Well...quite honestly, it's because I was embarassed and fed up with myself. I had an experience that threw my world off its axis and forced me to take a long, hard look at my thought patterns and habits. I didn't like what I saw. It is said that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. My teacher, the entity who flipped my perspective and made change not a should but a must? Cheese.

Yup, cheese.

Like all life's teachers, cheese can assume many forms: a cheerful, waxy orange hunk grinning at you from the dairy case; a gooey, melty blanket of comfort beckoning from atop a pizza; stoic and self-assured in the middle of a fruit plate, much like I always pictured the cheese at the end of "Farmer In The Dell", standing alone in the center of everything and unruffled by it all.

Cheese first appeared to me nestled in two gluten-free mini quiches at the Pickering Flea Market. The BF and I go there at least twice a month so he can stock up on sopprasetta, because it's one of the few foods he deigns to include in his lunch rotation (Monday, bbq pork on rice; Tuesday, half a sopprasetta; Wednesday, bbq pork on rice, and so on). The Flea market has a wonderful food court, full of incredible-tasting garbage like beef patties and (to die for)deep-fried potato puffs. We usually go for brekkie in the city beforehand, but every now and then it's nice to hunker down in a food court with the rest of humanity. Luckily, there is one booth that I can eat at - Molly B's Gluten-Free Kitchen. Besides the usual high-carb fare, which I skip, I can usually get ribs (with guaranteed gluten-free sauce) and salad. Nummy and messy, perfect food court fare.

This time, however, I wasn't that hungry. Two mini-quiches, so small and pretty, seemed the perfect remedy to my niggle for a little something. Upon asking though, I was informed that one contained cheddar, the other goat cheese. Well, I threw caution to the wind! "Bring 'em on," I exclaimed, an imaginary Super Duper Daring Girl cape flapping behind me. Today, I thought, will be the day I challenge cheese. Boo-ya.

I ate one. Then the other. They were okay. Barely tasted the cheese, dammit. It may as well have not been there at all. I mean, if you're going to put cheese in a quiche, mini or otherwise, PUT CHEESE IN. Goobs and gobs of it. When cooking with cheese, one must say "fuck subtlety!" and cram it in there. Anyway, though the quiche was good, I felt cheated out of a true cheese experience. Little did I know what the curdled bitch-goddess had in store for me.

Crestfallen, I commanded the BF to take me to a grocery store so I could purchase a block of tangy old cheddar cheese. If I was gonna suffer, (if, IF, because I don't REALLY have a problem with cheese, do I?)I was damn well gonna live it up first. I put half the block away, shredded a quarter block overtop a hastily-made taco salad (seasoned beef, tomatoes, salsa, avocado, etc) and ate the other quarter atop almond-flax crackers while I waited for the first to melt. My heart was, seriously, pounding with excitement. I was drooling like a wildebeast. I wasn't just eating the cheese - I was making sweet, sweet love to it, and it to me. It was deep, and it was real. As was the devastating gas and bloating that ensued soon after. Devastating gas - so bad that my cats spent the evening trying to avoid me - is one method the teacher uses to speak to you. It is an instruction: do not eat this again. Very simple. It's also a lesson we generally ignore. I went to bed that night like a kid on Xmas Eve, tingling with the anticipation of another day with cheese.

Next day I repeated the same menu. Again, I inflated and spent the rest of the day playing the butt-tuba. Since I wasn't listening, my teacher added another lesson: some weird, intestinal fireworks, like hot tingles, and some heartburn. Later, for good measure, teach threw in insomnia and intense bingeing hunger. I made a mental plan to try goat cheese next.

The following few days contained additional instruction in the form of nasal allergies, an acne breakout and dry, itchy skin. Gas continued, I looked 7 months pregnant, and I constantly craved carby foods like potatoes and sweets. My energy levels were extremely low. So naturally, I ordered and ate an entire medium gluten-free pizza, covered in fantabulous organic mozzarella.

Cheesus wept.

My weight shot up with water retention, my face broke out more, I got constipated and began having mood swings. My fingernails started breaking, gums started bleeding, nasal allergies were in full swing and I still had insomnia and enormous bloating. Cravings I hadn't heard from in ages dropped in to raid the fridge. I started getting obsessive about food and vitamins, and spent hours online maniacally researching things I already knew. I considered testing gluten - you know, just to see if anything happened, because intolerance symptoms are just so darn VAGUE.

Finally, after a small episode involving vanilla ice cream, wine and cigarettes (yes, I smoked - the dairy path is dark, my friends) my gouda-guru and the universe teamed up to give me a final exam. I bought a supplemental omega-oil blend containing, of all things, wheat germ and oat oils - something I normally would never, ever have purchased, and I quite honestly don't know why I did - and got really, really sick. I spent a week passing oil and undigested food. I felt nauseous and in pain every time I ate, no matter what it was, to the point of having to lie down. Course then I'd have to get up and pass more undigested food. I was itchy, tired, upset, sleepless, covered in zits, burping, heartburny. And then, just to add insult to injury, just to make absolutely, positively sure that I was listening this time, cheese/universe sent me one final lesson:

I pooped my pants. Just a little. Just a smidge. Just a wee, itsy-bitsy bit. But the fact remained - I pooped. In my pants. While I was wearing them. I thought it was just a little bit of gas...but no. Oh no. It was so, so much more. My best friend, who has Crohn's, laughed and said "Welcome to my world." What was I doing? What had I become? Is this what I wanted in my life, to be a pants-pooper? If I kept going, what would be next?

I'm better now, and better for it. I have learned my lesson, finally. Cheese is a tough mistress indeed, her lessons brutal. But she never, ever steers you wrong; if she speaks to you, you'd best heed her words. Now when I think of cheese, I don't fantasize about eating it. I picture it standing alone in the center of a bunch of gobbling, drooling people, wizened and calm, meeting my eyes with a knowing gaze and nodding almost imperceptibly as I walk on past.