My GFCF low-carb kitchen

Yesterday I received my first ever order from Beretta Farms - a big, happy box of organic, pastured meat. It was a carnivore's christmas, a frozen flesh-a-palooza, and I am now well-stocked with all the dead animal I could want. But as my inner huntress danced her thanksgiving dance to Diana, I realized I'd have to...*shudder*...organize my freezer.

Oh, who am I kidding. I LOVE organizing my freezer! Hell, I love organizing my whole kitchen! I'm a happy gal when all the tins in my cupboard are facing forward. I love a lined veggie crisper. I thrive on designing new groupings for condiments (by frequency of use, ethnic origin, colour etc). So off I went, tra la la, to exercise my OCD (Organizational Compulsion Disorder).

Then I got to thinking. As I mentioned in another post, one of the most frequent questions people ask when changing their way of eating (WOE), be it to low-carb or gluten-free or what have you, is "What do I eat?" I decided to ask that of myself: what do I eat? What's in my kitchen? And thus, I share with thee. Behold!

Large Freezer

Prime Rib roast, organic (org), 4.4 lbs
Stewing beef, org, 1 lb
Stir-fry beef, org, 2 lb
Top sirloin steak, org, 3 lb
Beef tongue, org, 3 lbs, ordered in a fit of culinary adventurousness, though now its very presence frightens me.
Ground beef, org, 3lbs
Beef short ribs
3 beef livers
Inside blade steak
Bunch of other steaks I hacked off a roast from Costco and froze in my nifty vaccuum sealer
Soup bones, beef
Oxtail, org, 2lbs
Ground pork, org, 2lbs. Good lord, who am I feeding here?
Pork tenderloin, org, 1 lb
6 really big bone-in pork chops
Lardons, 1 lb. You use these in stews and stuff. They're like the scrap ends of bacon or something. They sounded fun.
Chicken thighs, like a thousand of them, because I can't not buy chicken thighs whenever I'm out.
Chicken legs, 6 org, 4 Costco. That makes 10. Jesus.
Chicken wings, 5lbs org plus half a huge Costco package.
One whole chicken because apparently, I can never have enough chicken
Turkey thigh, org, 2.5 lb, just to mix it up a little
Lamb medallions
Bag of trout fillets
4 salmon patties
Bag of uncooked shrimp.

Small Freezer (top of fridge)

3 frozen meal things (my sister's work lunches)
6 big-ass organic nitrate-free hot dogs
1 pack of organic gluten-free breakfast sausage
Organic belly bacon, 2 lbs
1 pack organic beef salami
Blueberries
Almond meal
Flax meal
Flax seeds that will sit there forever. Like I'll ever actually grind my own flax meal.
Bob's Red Mill all-purpose gluten-free baking flour (say that 10 times fast)
Coconut flour
Green beans
Green peas (for stews. I hate peas anywhere else but I hate stew without peas)
Asparagus
3 root veggie packs, assembled by yours truly and containing carrots, parsnips, rutabaga, turnip and beets. Good for roasting. A little carby at the moment but yummy.
Weird solid cube of cooked squash that I may foist on to someone else
Bag of anemic-looking diced rutabaga, quite unappealing
Cauliflower
Half a beef heart and 3 lbs of chicken gizzards for the pusses. I have to manage that enormous beef tongue before I even think of attempting a chicken heart, though the association with voodoo appeals to me.
Homemade seafood chowder
Homemade pizza stew: kinda like spaghetti sauce with pizza ingredients, good when your BF asks you to hold his pizza slice and it smells so good and you wanna take a bite so bad but you can't so you turn the urge into hatred and sneeze on his slice and then make pizza stew when you get home and it does the trick, kinda sorta.
Homemade GFCF LC zucchini loaf
Bag of Alexia organic oven fries that have been sitting there for months because I'm not doing potatoes at the moment

Fridge (the inner sanctum)

Perrier. Fizzy water is exciting water!
Kombucha and SCOBY. A whole other post, trust me.
2% milk (sister's)
Coconut milk, half-can (mainly used in tea)
Homemade white peach wine from sister's BF
Homemade fish stock ready to be frozen
Lemon juice (naturally, I almost always use REAL lemons. Ahem.) Shirataki noodles
Olives, green and black
Lard, organic
Bacon grease
Hard boiled eggs, for snacks and devilling
Coconut jelly: a chewy snack made from creamed coconut and gelatin. Tastes better than it sounds.
Wonder Dread...er, bread (sis)
Homemade Worcestershire sauce, bc Lea & Perrins doesn't make a gluten-free one in Canada so bah, who needs them
Homemade chicken liver pate that is SERIOUSLY awesome
Romaine lettuce
Homemade meatballs that I'd totally forgotten about
Kosher dills
Miracle Whip (sis)
Individual organic apple sauces, only 12g carbs each and nice on my pork chops
Pancetta
Organic eggs
Bacon
More homemade meatballs. When did I make all these? Why?
Chocolate Mayo Pound Cake, tweaked for GFCF and for low-carb. Could happily eat nothing else. Recipe in an upcoming post.
Coconut oil candies: coconut oil, cocoa and sweetener mixed and solidified in ice cube trays.
Parsley that will rot before I use it up
Rosemary (see above)
Thyme (see above)
Organic butter for making ghee
Mustard
Cocktail sauce, hot
Blueberry fruit spread, about a year old
Marmalade fruit spread (see above)
Gigantarific tub of Hellman's. I am almost ashamed at how quickly I go through it. Almost.
Organic ketchup
Top sirloin, org, 1 lb, defrosting for dinner tonight
Puss food: raw chicken, ground bone, gizzards and liver
Sardines. I used the heads and tails for the fish stock, feeding the rest to the pusses because sardines just freak me out and I can't eat them. I don't know why.
Wrinkly turnip
Old carrots
Even older parsnips
Minced organic ginger
Capers
Sauerkraut (food of the gods)
Frank's Red Hot, Original and Buffalo
Kraft Classic Herb dressing
Pack of organic beef salami
Pack of organic GF breakfast sausage that I'm having later
Baking soda
Bell peppers
Pork cracklins (the crunchy goodness left over from rendering lard)
Tomato
Bread & butter pickles, unsweetened and actually pretty gross. Don't know why I haven't thrown them out. Every now and then I have a couple, and I go "ugh" and "eeuuw" and "blecch". Then I put them back in the fridge.
Fish sauce because I might, one day, cook some sort of Thai food and I want to be prepared.
Cod liver oil. Yes, I take cod liver oil. Yes, I know what year it is.
Tamari: wheat-free soy sauce that yes, I bring with me to sushi places. I have not yet gotten the balls to bring it to Chinatown and demand that they prepare my food with it. I miss Chinese food...
HP Sauce (sauce of the gods)

Pantry

*Aside: okay, it's not really a pantry as in an awesome, romantic walk-in food closet full of interesting and exotic thingys and natural, wholesome preserved thingys. It's a crap particle board cupboard. I love the idea of having a huge pantry but really, it would be wasted on me as I don't use many dry goods or canned or boxed foods. If the end ever comes, I'll be stuck sucking on frozen meat. It would make a great shoe closet though...anyway, back to the:

Pantry
Zoodles (sis, but I remember the days when my diet was these, Beefaroni, toast, cigarettes and beer and I was darn happy)
Nutrigrain bars, Oatmeal to Go (sis)
Butter chicken curry paste, a pleasant surprise as I have no idea where it came from. Luckily I have lots of chicken to use it on.
Butter (sis)
Ghee
Almond hazelnut butter from my paleo almond muffin kick, which I may revive
Natural peanut butter
Beef broth
Tomato paste
Bakers unsweetened chocolate
Cocoa powder
Coconut milk
71% Cocoa Camino choccy bar, nummm. A little goes a long, long way.
Stevia, liquid and granular
Splenda
Sugar Twin, liquid
Erythritol: a natural sweetener that also adds bulk and texture to baked goods.
Sweet Life, another natural sweetener I'm trying
Pork rinds. I use these for breading, as crackers and to snack on occasionally. They are AWESOME, don't let anyone tell you different.
Tea: black, green, white, red, spiced, and a variety of herbal. I drink about two pots a day, as should you all.
Almond milk, unsweetened
Variety of herbs and spices
Polydextrose: adds bulk and texture to baked goods
Gelatin
Xanthan gum: thickener, adds texture to baked goods
Clover honey

Maple syrup, one of my favorite flavours of all time. I don't use it or the honey often, but it's nice to have around.
Molasses used in non-LC baked bean recipe about 6 months ago. Does molasses go bad? I can't decide whether to keep it or pitch. For some reason I've grown attached to it. The carton is cute and old-fashioned looking, and that always gets me.
White sugar (sis)
Icing sugar used once on a flourless cake for Xmas, now sitting neglected and lonesome on my shelf, poor thing.
Onion
Garlic
Celtic sea salt
Dessicated unsweetened coconut
Extra-virgin olive oil
Almond oil
Avocado oil (the one Jamie Oliver endorses! Woo!)
Red, white and marsala cooking wine
Vinegars: white, red wine, white wine, balsamic, rice, ume plum
DaVinci syrups: French Vanilla (mmmm in tea) and Root Beer (for my Perrier)

Based on this, I shouldn't have to grocery shop for several years. I think a mental health professional would label this as hoarding behaviour, with a touch of ingredient exhibitionism. I don't know that I'd argue.

So Who Are You, Anyway?

Good question.

I started this blog with the intention of exploring, in a light, humourous way, my trials and tribulations with food addiction. That's changed. Why? Because I no longer have food addiction, frequent bingeing and all the other negative food-related behaviours that confounded and depressed me. Figures - I start a blog, and my subject matter hightails it outta here.

Why did this happen? What blessed miracle removed this dreaded affliction? Well first, lemme take you into some dark, murky territory better known as:

Self-Indulgent Backstory Time

I've never been obese. Not by a long shot. Rather, I'm one of those people who, like so many of us, constantly battles to keep weight from creeping on. At any given time I had 20-30 extra pounds on me. I did everything I could to get it off: I dieted with low-fat foods, skinless/fatless meats and whole grains, and I dutifully treadmilled and ellipticalled in my target heart zone most days of the week. Nothing. No change. Well, 5 lbs here and there but for the most part, I stayed looking pretty much the same.

I figured this was due to my seemingly insatiable appetite. I was always, always hungry. I was always, always thinking about food. When was I gonna eat? What was I gonna have? I snacked a lot, but on healthy things like whole-wheat crackers and low-fat cheese or whole-wheat toast with fat-free cream cheese or peanut butter. Here's an example of a typical menu:

• Breakfast (always eaten within an hour of waking because if you wanna lose weight, you gotta eat breakfast): high-fibre organic multi-grain cereal; skim milk; banana; babybel cheese
• Morning nibble (why am I hungry? I ate breakfast!): fruit salad with fat-free yogurt and sprinkling of granola
• Lunch (man, I'm starved. What's wrong with me?): tomato soup with multi-grain crackers; tuna sandwich with fat-free mayo on whole-wheat bread; babybel cheese; apple
• Pre-dinner nibble (I'm awful. I'm such a pig.): half a bag of cheese flavoured rice chip things, though I would love to eat the whole bag; 1% cottage cheese
• Dinner (oh thank god): enormous plate of whole-wheat spaghetti with vegetable marinara sauce; parmesan cheese; garlic bread, 2 pieces
• Post-dinner freak-out: frantic handful of crackers rammed in mouth and chewed furiously while buttering whole-wheat bread and putting a carefully measured tablespoon of maple syrup on top, followed by the rest of the bag of rice chip things, then maybe my sister has some chocolate something, ooh look, potato chips and ohmygodstopSTOP. STOP.
• Post freak-out helping of guilt, shame and depression, followed by copious amounts of sugar-free gum.

So yeah - I figured the weight issue was directly related with calories. Since I was a huge pig who couldn't stop eating, I was likely taking in way more calories than my small frame could handle, more than I was burning off at the gym. Thing is, I'd counted calories before. I'd eaten the 1200-1400 or so recommended for my size, and didn't shed a pound. I went even more insane from hunger and cravings, but didn't shed a pound. I figured I must need even less food...and that wasn't gonna happen.

I considered Overeaters Anonymous. I read Dr. Phil's book. I did a bunch of very self-lovey emotional work. I journalled. I paid attention to my feelings. I discovered that my bingeing tended to be triggered by boredom - in which case, I was bored a hell of a lot. I considered purging (didn't work - that's a whole other post!). I paid attention to how others were eating (slowly, pausing between bites, leaving food on the plate if they got full) and tried to emulate them. Finally, I just gave up and decided to start a blog about it. Maybe some indulgent public whining would help me figure out what was going on.

Then I decided to have another look at low-carbing. I had just quit smoking with the help of a book by Allan Carr. He also had a book for people who wanted to change their relationship with food, and that got me thinking: if a book could help me, an unrepentant 18-yr smoker, quit cold turkey, then maybe it could help me with my food problem. But somehow, I stumbled onto Dr. Barry Groves and his ebook "Eat Fat, Get Thin", and it made sense to me. I started reading more books, and when I found a support forum online I spent several days absorbing information.

I'd done the low-carb thing before. Several years back I saw a book called "The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet" and felt a click of recognition. I bought, read and implemented it in the span of one week. The gist was that carbs were addictive (aha! hence my cravings!) and should be limited. The plan included low-carb substitutes, like bread made from soy flour and pasta from rice, and included a reward meal every day that had to be eaten in a one-hour period. I bought pounds of substitutes, cooked furiously, and began losing a bit of weight. Woo hoo!

Problem was, the reward meal was making me INSANE. I thought about it all day long. I would make whatever I wanted and gorge myself for the full hour; once the hour was up, I would obsess about my next reward meal until it came, 24 hours later. I'm sure that the authors of this book did not intend for me (or anyone) to behave in this manner, and I know many people for whom this plan worked like a charm. I just felt nuts. I couldn't handle the stress. Mentally I felt worse than before, and I was having visions of the BF finding me hunched in a closet, snorting flour from the bag. I decided that I was deluded, thinking I was a carb addict, and all I needed was discipline. I chucked the book and the plan.

This time, I decided to give it a real go. I started Atkins, began tracking carbs. But I kept falling off the wagon. I noticed the cravings weren't as bad, but they were still there. I'd be good during the week, but on weekends I'd have some pizza or some other "treat". I didn't want to, but the urge to was strong, annoying, distracting. Here I go again, I thought. Another failure.

End of Long, Poor-me Backstory

So one day on the low-carb forum I stumbled across some posts dealing with gluten intolerance and other food sensitivities. A very knowledgeable person gently suggested that I might want to try an elimination diet - no grains or dairy or soy - and see how I felt. The very thought was horrifying to me, but I love to experiment on myself so gave it a whirl. And what do you know...in a few days, my cravings had vanished completely. COMPLETELY.

This ASTOUNDED me. A week or so prior, I had an episode of cracker-mouth-stuffing that ended in tears. (Note: Cracker-mouth-stuffing occurs when one has an insatiable fever for crackers, and rams fistfulls of them into one's mouth and then attempts to chew and swallow so more can be rammed in.) Suddenly, I had a very obvious absence of craving. And I wasn't as hungry either. Plus - I wasn't so puffy all over, or bloated in my belly. My torso felt clear - like I had been clogged up, and now I was empty and clean. My head felt clearer. I had no anxiety, no mood swings, no depression...I actually felt content. After about two weeks I tested myself with an order of pasta - before I was even halfway through, my belly swelled up like I'd swallowed a pumpkin. A few days of gas and other bathroom issues ensued; something was definitely awry.

I shelled out some bucks for a test and, lo! Positive for gluten and casein intolerance. Almost all of the foods I craved so, so badly - crackers, pasta, bread, cheese - were foods I was sensitive to;that, in fact, my body mounted an immune reaction against. Dairy and wheat were just like cigarettes: unhealthy, bad for me, killing me...but I craved them incessantly.

So now, I want this blog to address issues of low-carb nutrition in general, GFCF eating, weight issues, some food history, and some fun food stuff. I've got me some pretty strong opinions about eating, and I 'aint scared to share.