Chocolate Mayo Pound Cake

Every so often, it comes up in casual conversation that I can't eat wheat. I apparently have the type of face that people want to cram food into, and they offer me crackers and cakes and all sorts of nummy stuff that makes my ass explode. I generally say I'm allergic, which is easier than explaining the whole gluten intolerance thing. And it's waaaay easier than saying "No thanks, I lowcarb" and hearing how meat and fat will ultimately lead to me dropping dead from a dramatic cardiac event, and that I desperately need grains in my diet to be healthy. So I say "I can't, actually, I'm allergic to wheat", and then watch as their face contorts into an expression of horror. "Oh my GOD," they exclaim, clasping their hands to their chest. "That must SUCK! What do you EAT?"

I eat this, beeyotches:
Okay...so it aint pretty. It looks like a cake that hit the bar early, drank far too much, talked too loud, smoked a deck, got in a fight en route to the streetcar, and woke up face down in a pile of Chinatown garbage and now has a helluva hangover and wants to be left alone, goddammit.

But oooooh...it's good. Real good. Eat-it-for-breakfast good. And...eh!...it's not fattening.

The original recipe was one I picked up at my lowcarb forum. I modified it slightly for my special needs and played with flavourings a tad. As with all recipes in this tasty world of ours, please do the same:

GFCF Chocolate Mayo Pound Cake

3c almond meal/flour
1/2c coconut flour
1/2c gluten-free flour (I used Bob's Red Mill all-purpose GF baking flour)
2/3c cocoa powder
1 1/4tsp baking soda
1tsp baking powder
1/2c Erythritol (or other granular sweetener - I love this one)
4 large eggs
1 1/2tsp liquid sweetener (I used Splenda, but you could use honey, stevia, agave etc
1t vanilla extract
1c mayo
2/3c DaVinci German Chocolate Cake syrup - wowza. (I've also used the French Vanilla to good effect, but this is better)
2/3c unsweetened chocolate almond milk (can use coconut milk or other milk...but this was yumm)

Just bung it all together and mix, then plunk in a bundt pan and bake at 325 for about 45-50 minutes. I do not own a bundt pan. I thought I bought one, but it turned out to be one of those pans you make angel food cake in. I reckon this is why my version looks like it's homeless and on crack. So buy a proper bundt pan, I implore you, and slice it into 16 for a mere 8g net carbs each.

For the glaze on top, I melted about 3oz of dark chocolate (75% cocoa) with coconut oil, a touch of coconut milk, and the chocolate syrup stuff. The coconut oil makes it harden some in the fridge. It adds maybe 1 or 2 carbs to a slice, if that - I didn't measure it out but rather followed my whimsy. That could be why the glaze looks accidental. Tastes good though - even the BF said so, and he hates cocoa and gluten-free and any cake not from a box.

Blooper Reel

Here's how the cake came out of the oven:

I don't know if you can tell, but the centre had puffed up and broken away from the rest of the cake, almost like a rooftop patio. Naturally I ate most of it, because when that happens it doesn't count as part of the cake proper and will not interfere with any weight-loss efforts.

I glazed it, and decided it looked homely. So I attempted to pretty it up:

Worse, really. Sad.