The Almighty Rev Roll

Brekkie, Feb 15: Steak sandwich on an Atkins Rev Roll; romaine lettuce with rest of steak and homemade creamy Italian dressing.

Dr. Atkins left the world many gifts; Rev Rolls are, perhaps, his greatest. Ahh, let us ponder the Rev Roll: spongy, ugly, slightly sticky, yet capable of holding a bevvy of meats and spreads in its delicate embrace. For those of us choosing to keep the carbs super-low while totally avoiding grains, the Rev Roll is nothing less than a miracle. Tastes decent too.

Rev Rolls are made from eggs and some form of dairy, usually ricotta or cottage cheese. From there, you can add whatever seasonings you want. Make them sweet, make them savoury - the world is your Rev Roll. Many people will think you're disgusting for eating such a thing. You, however, are not disgusting. They are simply rotted and dying in their souls and as such cannot fathom the joyousness of any bun, let alone this extra-super-special bun. Pity them and move on.

At first, I was distraught over the inclusion of cheese in the recipe. I soon discovered that I could substitute with mayonnaise, and they came out pretty darn yummy. Granted I have nothing to compare them to, but whatever. They work. Try.

No-Dairy Rev Rolls (adapted from Dr. Atkins Diet Revolution, 1972)

3 eggs, separated

1/4 tsp cream of tartar OR 1 extra egg white

3 tbsp mayonnaise (regular, not dressing-type)

1/2 tsp sweetener

• Preheat your oven to 300 degrees. Grease a cookie sheet, or line it with parchment paper.

• Beat egg whites with cream of tartar (if using) until they're super stiff. You know you're okay if you turn the bowl upside-down and they don't move. Use a hand beater for this. Seriously. You use a whisk, don't be emailing me later whining about shoulder paralysis.

• Add whatever seasonings you're using to the yolks. Be creative here. Garlic and onion powder, rosemary, chives, cinnamon...go nuts.

• Fold yolks, mayo and sweetener into the whites. Be careful. You don't want to break down the whites too much because you need them for puffiness. Not that the rolls get all that puffy, really. Just don't mix for more than about a minute. Here's how to fold: http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/ck_dm_baking/article/0,1904,FOOD_18996_1726430,00.html

• Spoon mixture onto cookie sheet, making 6 piles. You want to stack the batter, making high rather than wide piles; spoon some out, then spoon more on top of it. A couple inches high should do it.

• Bake for about an hour. They will probably fall. That's okay. I have heard internet rumours about Rev Rolls that could be cut in half, but it's never happened to me. I use two rolls per sandwich, one for the top and one for the bottom.

• Put rolls in a zipper bag and stash in the fridge overnight. This is imperitive! You see, when fresh from the oven Rev Rolls feel and taste like a satanic couch-lint merengue. But overnight,the Wee Folk of the Fridge show up to work their funky voodoo and, come morning, you've got soft, chewable sandwich material ready for the application of omlette, burger, tuna salad, or a half-pound of bacon. Not that I would ever eat a half-pound of bacon at once! Ha ha...ahem.

So screw the wheat-eaters! Embrace the Rev Roll! Be creative, and make it your own.